Tuesday, November 1, 2011

BEGIN THE BEGUINE...A Letter to Mom

This is for you Mom. As you read and are able to see the beginning workings of that which you support with all your loving heart. I learn more and more to make choices but of course, still remain your quite particular daughter who sees in the most intense detail. I will write a story to post by days end.   In honor of it being 11-1-11. But I must first sit at the piano. No writing, no nothing until I've been at the piano. Because I am visiting your house I hope you will hear today the progress I've made. Playing on my childhood piano at your house takes me right back to that young age, the age you remember well as you had to force me to sit down and practice but then force me to get up when it was time for dinner.


Could it be I am learning to channel those little Jilly forces? That force of nature who so violently would kick the back of your seat as you drove for who knows what reason...just had to get it out I guess. Those forces who, left un-channeled took me to dark places and swirling for answers I could never find outside myself.


The journey is just beginning. Yet I feel my fingers alive today, ready to learn and stretch. Ready to take over for my brain as they must when playing the pieces I aspire to. Funny it's the fingers, the wrists, the arms and shoulders, the body that play. The mind is only used for the learning and then must be let go...the answer was there all along Mama...


The piano is where I let go of my mind!


I love you dearly,
Jilann

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